Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Why Do We Say "Yes" When We Mean "No"?
Jeffrey Young's Schema Therapy suggests it has a lot to do with your family. He suggests 11 schemas or "mental representations" we hold as a result of our childhood experience. Which one(s) do you hold?
Abandonment: The feeling that people you love will leave you, and you will end up emotionally isolated forever.
Mistrust and Abuse: The expectation that people will hurt or abuse you in some way - that they will cheat, lie to, manipulate, humiliate, physically harm, or otherwise take advantage of you.
Dependence: You feel unable to handle everyday life in a competent manner without considerable help from others.
Vulnerability: You live in fear that disaster is about to strike - whether natural, criminal, medical, or financial. You don't feel safe in this world.
Emotional Deprivation: The belief that your need for love will never be met adequately by other people. You feel that no one truly cares for you or understands how you feel.
Social Exclusion: Involves your connection to friends and groups. It has to do with feeling isolated from the rest of the world, with feeling different.
Defectiveness: You feel inwardly flawed and defective. You believe that you would be fundamentally unlovable to anyone who got close enough to really know you.
Failure: The belief that you are inadequate in areas of achievement. You believe you have failed relative to your peers.
Subjugation: You sacrifice your own needs and desires for the sake of pleasing others or meeting their needs.
Unrelenting Standards: You strive relentlessly to meet extremely high expectations of yourself.
Entitlement: Associated with the ability to accept realistic limits in life. You feel special. You insist that you be able to say, or have whatever you want immediately.
You can find out more here: http://www.schematherapy.com/id73.htm