Control: Resilient people believe they can directly influence the events that occur in their lives and translate their beliefs into action. If you believe you lack the ability to control what’s happening in your life, you will feel more stress when faced with an adversity.
Commitment: Resilient people are more committed to what they are doing. For them, work is not just work - it’s a source of meaning in their lives.
Challenge: Resilient people are more likely to see change as an opportunity for growth rather than as a stressor.
- Notice what events “push your buttons”. Is there a pattern? Just stepping back and observing what happens can help you feel a little more detached and in control.
- What’s the worst that can happen? Make a list. You’ll find this exposes your beliefs about the event. Then you can estimate the probability of these things happening. Next make a list of “best-case” scenarios. And rate their probabilities. This should give you a little more clarity for working out some solutions.
- Question the causes of adversity. Don’t take it personally. Take an eagle-eyed view of the situation. The higher your perspective the smaller the adversity will appear.
- Be flexible. It’s not black and white. Does it “always” happen to you, and does it affect “everything” in your life? Try to find work-arounds - other, more resourceful ways of thinking about the event.
- Don’t forget to breathe. take a few long, slow, deep breaths. This will rapidly stabilize your oxygen to carbon dioxide ratio. Panic attacks are associated with mild-onset hypoxia (which is why Medical emergency staff will get you to breathe into a paper bag. Breathing in your own CO2 paradoxically drives oxygen into the brain).
- Don’t make an emotional decision, particularly when you feel certain. It’s when emotions are most pervasive that you should take a little extra time to reflect.
- And remember, “if you cannot improve upon silence, say nothing”.