Addicted to Drama!

"Don't you know who I am?!" Such an over-blown expression of entitlement seems obvious. But we can all be addicted to drama in more subtle ways. For example, do you find your partner is "hard work"? You probably perpetuate the situation by holding a belief that "I'm entitled to be treated better than this". Do you get caught up with your finances, never having enough money? You may have learned at an early age that "money doesn't come easily". If it does, you probably don't trust it. And what about life in general? If you remember drama in your family, you may have developed the same patterns of behaviour to get your own needs met. And you probably still do (if there's no drama in your life how can you be sure that anyone will pay attention to you?)!

Aesthetics

Core values give rise to the activities we enjoy that give meaning to our lives. One of my highest values is aesthetics - "a need for self-expression, a dedication to quality, an interest in how things look, feel, and sound, and close attention to the appearance of work products". It's a strong value for me, and sometimes I over-emphasise it. I get caught up in "style" and overlook "substance". I get distracted by "bright shiny things". Which of your values do you overemphasise at times?

Perfectionism

I completed my own MAP (Mood Assessment Program) from the Black Dog Institute recently so I could understand what my clients might go through when I get them to do it. I was surprised to discover that I have perfectionism at a 'risk' level in my personality - what does it mean?

Perfectionism is characterised by a striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, being overly self-critical, and concerned about others' evaluations. Mmm, well it's not all bad! Perfectionism can also be a strong motivator to reach goals, provided you don't try to achieve an unattainable ideal. By that definition, most of my colleagues and clients are perfectionists! "Trying to get it right" is no bad thing, provided you know your own limits.

Buddhist Psychology!

Recently completed a one-week silent Shamatha retreat with B. Alan Wallace and 60 of our closest friends! (this picture shows Alan teaching us under the Bhodi tree in Bodhgaya). There's so much conversation going on in your head when you stop talking! One of the key lessons to "hit me" was that everything we know about our current reality consists of "appearances to the mind". In other words, my reality is what "appears" to me. It is whatever I put my attention on and expect to find!